A Brand New Year (Whoo Hoo!)

I am writing because I am so freakin excited about the New Year. 2006 is definitely looking up for a sister. With so many connections and new ones being made everyday, this will be my year. I have wished and waited, prayed and prayed, and finally its my time to rejoice. My future is now and I am so freakin excited. There is a great air of expectancy everywhere. People are waiting to harvest some serious stuff this year. My hope is that everyone has been preparing for the rain that will fall in 06. As for me, keep your radios tuned and your tv on cause your girl will be there real soon. Holla!

It's Been So Long

Ok I'm trapped in the Big Apple with extremely limited internet access so this is the reason that it took me forty years to post, well this time at least. NY is cool. I have to say I must adapt. It's not as bad as I thought it would be but different in ways that make me have to grow. For one I'm not much of a people person but they are everywhere. My family that I am staying with is wonderful and they have taken good care of me but they worry about me for no reason. I have to say that I am a little affected by my surroundings (the stonch projects) therefore not as vibrant as I usually am. If I don't have a session, which I haven't for a week, I just chill in my room. I don't know NY like that so where am I gonna go, and in the cold at that. The main thing I like to do is go somewhere and take in the ambience. Now not to hate on New York but where is there ambience to be taken in. It's all good though. If this is part of my journey then I am willing to do it. I'm just putting the pedal to the medal and working as fast as I can. I mean I'm not trying to rush the natural order of things but I'm trying to do all that I have to do while living here so I can go. Don't get me wrong the city is fine, it 's the PJ's that I can do without. The elevator is the bathroom and yesterday there was a huge puddle while I was riding to my 9th floor home. It stinks everywhere and everything is so compact and crowded. The very thing I had a lot of at home I am craving, space. My poor little room here is the size of my bathroom at home. I don't mean to sound like a bougie princess but well whatever. Anyway no complaining still I am greatful for all the opportunity that I am about to embark upon.

A Very Necessary Talk (Brave-Aid 2 the Rescue)

Alright ladies this one is especially for us. How come we are the more verbal sex when it comes to emotions yet I am coming to understand that it pains us sometimes just as much to be completely honest. So I joined the ranks of many women who I would call chumps recently. I was talking to a guy but instead of always directly asking him how he felt about something I would just ask a mutual friend. Pretty high school right, yeah well we all do it. Finally because of the "middle man" communication style we had chosen messages had gotten crossed so bad that I was extremely hurt by something that I didnt even know if he said. I reacted to this and he assumed that I hated him and had no reason why. Yeah I know really middle school right, it gets better.

So finally I decided I had enough of this junk. I, with the help of my inner circle, realized I needed to sort out what was going on and have a very necessary talk with him. It had gotten so bad that I starting having dreams about him. I realized that when I have unresolved issues my sleep is directly affected and I feel like a crazy woman.

I drank a case of Brave-Aid and I called him Wednesday before thanksgiving but he was just arriving to his out of town destination. We decided that we would talk later. We had been playing phone tag since then until last night. We finally got to talk! Now usually, honestly when I have these talks I always leave out one important detail that is vital to the conversation. This time I did no such thing. I completely expressed myself. WHOO HOO! I felt so free and liberated. Truth is even though we as ladies are more verbal about our feelings and emotions, we find it much easier to express negative emotions than happy ones. We have no problem telling a guy that he isn't pleasing us but telling him that he's wonderful, well at least for me is like pulling teeth.

Anyway our talk was sensational and a lot was revealed. All positive stuff. Our friendship is completely restored and I am truly happy about it. I am never letting the middle man syndrome get in the way of another relationship with anyone, especially a man!